I'm starting to feel the anticipation more than ever for NaNoWriMo. It's going to start tonight, at midnight, and I'm excited. The jury is still out over whether I'll stay up till midnight or wake up early to write. [I'm not sure which method of losing sleep would work better.] Regardless, I can't wait to start.

I've outlined all the way up to chapter 26, and after that I only have a vague idea about what happens.

Crazy, eh? Yeah, I get that a lot.

I can't wait for...

...the chats with friends.
...the writing, of course.
...delving into the plot of my fantasy novel.
...getting to eat, breathe, and sleep my novel for the next 30 days.
...absolute insanity.

Oh, and by the way, after this, my posts may not be as coherent as usual. My brain juices will be focused on NaNo, and I'm embracing the crazy. I'm embracing the challenge... and the adventure. In other words...

I can't wait.

What are you looking forward to about NaNo? [Or if you're not doing NaNo, what are you looking forward to about November?]

Dear You,

Yes, I'm talking to you: the hopeful writer. You are so brave to be forging new ideas and thoughts. And yet you're cowering behind your computer screen, afraid to write one word lest it be imperfect.

You think your novel's not good enough?

Think again.



Being a writer is a hard and noble calling. Writing a novel, much less a short story, is not easy.

And you, my friend, have decided to undertake such a heavy task. (Am I boosting your ego yet?)

Yet your road is plagued with self-doubt. My novel isn't good enough. I'm not good enough. These words? Cliche. I am not a writer.


Oh, but you are a writer. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here.

Listen: everyone's first draft stinks. That's just the way it is. Every published novel goes through tons of editing before it is made viewable to the public eye. You can't write a novel the first time around and expect it to be perfect.

In fact, your novel won't even be perfect by the third, fourth, or fifth draft. (If you get that far, I applaud you. I'm sure this day is coming for us, novelists. Prepare yourselves.) I saw Bryan Davis speak once, and he said that your story is never completely finished. You will never have a perfect novel, so why try?

But you can do your best. Do your best to pour every ink-stained word and every drop of sweat into your manuscript. Write the story that you've been called to write. Because I know it, dear writer: you have a story.  And it needs to be told.

After all, if you don't tell it, who will?

Love,
-Me

Oh, and P.S. - this letter was written to Me as much as it was written to You. ;)

Update from the NaNo battlefront: Well, I have a villain. Two, in fact. One of them needs a name, though. If you have any names that sound dastardly, cunning, and villainous, leave them in a comment.

I'm also plodding along on my outline, and I'm on Chapter 17. Three days, people. Three days.

A few days ago I was rejoicing because of a new growth in my writing journey. Originally, I had resigned myself to being nothing but a seat-of-the-pants writer for the rest of my life. No planning involved.

I'm not a pastor's daughter by any means, but sometimes I wonder if the title couldn't be applied informally. I can't remember a time when my parents weren't reaching out to someone in need. I admire my parents. They do their best to completely open themselves up to God's plan, whatever it may be. They're not perfect, but they don't have to be. The thing about surrender is that God sometimes turns it into His wildest, greatest plans.

Along the way, God drops people into our lap. They need us to speak into their lives in different ways, and it surprises me that we often need them, too.

My heart hurts for these people. Our friends. Broken families. Redeemed situations.

I'm learning that life... isn't perfect. If it was, we wouldn't need heaven. We wouldn't need a hero.

We wouldn't need Jesus.

Still, it hurts. The world hurts. Pain hurts. Life is hard.

We are broken.


And the sad part is, we all think we're alone. We feel isolated, and we've fallen into the trap of believing that no one could possibly understand how we feel. So we coldly trudge along, lost in our insecurities and struggles, traversing a lonely, rocky path that we never would have chosen for ourselves. We believe we are alone.

We are wrong. We are never alone.

'Cuz we could never find our way back home with broken hearts
So love has come to meet us where we are."
- Sing, Josh Wilson

I was pleasantly surprised this week to find out that many people go through the same things I do. Insecurity, depression, fear. This is all a part of being human, traversing this road we call life.

And it's going to be okay.

He is coming soon, He is coming soon
He will take his bride,
He will make her new
He is coming soon, He is coming soon
To carry us home."
-The Saints, Josh Wilson

We are uniquely different, yet the same. Same struggles. Same pain. Same Savior.

We are broken, tossed by the winds. We are bruised, battered, and bleeding. We are beautifully made. We are blessed.

We are different, yet the same.

And we are His.

Every morning this week I've been greeted by a slew of posts about NaNoWriMo on my dashboard. It's thrilling, to be sure.

This is NaNoWriMo, people. It's happening in 7 days.

Seven days?!

I must be crazy.

Oh wait, NaNo is made of crazy.



I actually started doubting my sanity a couple days ago. Really doubting my sanity. Can I handle NaNo? Am I crazy for doing this?

Okay, yes, I am crazy. We've already established that.

Anyway, I'm starting to feel the pre-November crunch. You know... that sinking feeling in your stomach when you realize just what you've gotten yourself into.

What have I gotten myself into, indeed?

I want to do NaNo. I really do. I think it'll be good for me. But those feelings of inadequacy are almost too much.

What if my novel stinks?
{It probably will.}
But I want it to be a good first draft!
{There is no such thing as a good first draft.}
I want my writing to be perfect! 
{Silly. Your writing won't be perfect, and neither will you.}

It's the endless struggle of a writer: Inadequacy. Our words aren't good enough... we aren't good enough.

Oh, but we are.

We have to believe it. What we write is worth something. To us. To the world. To God. We're not worthless... and neither are our words.

I want to do NaNo because I need to get over this inadequacy. Writing is not about being perfect, it's about writing. We can strive and strive to make our words perfect the first time around, but in the end, we won't finish what we start. Believe me - I know.  The only time I've finished a novel is when I let go of my expectations and decided to write it all down. Everything. No self-censoring. No editing allowed. Just writing, pure and simple.

Yes, there is a certain amount of planning we must do. But I've found that when I plan too much, all the fun will drain right out of it. Then again, if I don't plan at all, then my novel is more disaster-prone. I'm discovering something, though: there are no right or wrong answers. We must write the way we have to write. It's a balance; a limbo of words, planning and editing, painting our souls and telling our tales.

The writing journey can't be described. It's different for each person. So I'm trying to remember this: Write the way that works for me. The most important thing about writing is this:

Write.

After all, that's why we're called writers, isn't it?

{P.S. - I have a couple blog posts in mind that don't have anything to do with NaNoWriMo... so stay tuned.}

I've gone through a dry period in my writing lately when it comes to writing fantasy. I don't think I've written fantasy for the past couple of years. Looking back, I wonder why on earth I didn't.

Reese's Pieces was my first novel I finished, but it is certainly not fantasy. It contained a girl, coffee, her family, friends, and life. No swords or castles, definitely. (Also, I need to work on finding a better title for it. :P)

Before that, I had another work-in-progress. When I was 12, I started writing Talryn's Tale and continued it for at least 2 years until I hit a road block. Sadly, I stopped. I still have it in its entirety, but something has been stopping me from writing it. I'm not sure why.

Honestly, I think I didn't write fantasy because I started to doubt myself and my writing. I decided that my writing wasn't good enough to compare to C.S. Lewis or Tolkien. (Yeah, comparing a first draft to a masterpiece that has been edited and published is not a good idea.)



Enter NaNoWriMo this year. I've been thinking about fantasy again, and something stirred in my heart. I decided that, once again, I'd try my hand at fantasy. Just to see if I can.

I'm not sure if it's a mistake or a good idea to attempt a fantasy novel during NaNo. We shall see. But one thing I do know: my characters have been real again, more real than they have been for a long time.

Yes, my characters from Reese's Pieces were real, but there's something different this year. Something I can't quite put my finger on. I guess I'd call it inspiration. There's something more exciting about writing fantasy than anything else. Something exciting about creating your own worlds and molding them into whatever you want. I feel more free in my writing here. I can write freely. Yes, Riah can carry a sword if she wants, and she can also wear sneakers if she likes. There are no constraints.

Fantasy is typically set in a medieval type world. I have no problem with that - so is mine. However, I'm looking to add unique elements to this story, stuff that isn't normally in fantasy novels. I want my novel to be different, in a good way.

A couple of days ago, I was reading over some of my old blog posts at my Wordpress blog, and I came across this one. It was about Talryn and the other characters from that story, and I loved it. They were the backbone of the story, they were vivid, they were different. They were almost real.

I've been plotting my characters the past few days, since they're the most important element of the story, and they're coming alive in a way that hasn't happened since Talryn's Tale. I'm coming up with snappy bits of dialogue, even before I've set pen to paper. The characters are dictating the story. And that's the way I think it should be. Writing a novel is like growing a plant: You have to let it grow.

So, here they are: a few of my characters, complete with dialogue and outfits and personality.

Silver Tears - NaNo 2011

Tell me about your characters now. Are they coming alive yet? How is your inspiration-level this year?

I can officially say without a doubt, that this is my favorite Beautiful People round ever, as evidenced by the fact that I couldn't wait to put this post up. I've enjoyed reading about all your novels, and I'm amazed by how creative we all are! Writers, I think you all deserve a high-five. :)

As for me, here is my contribution to this month's edition of Beautiful People.


1. Sum up your novel in five words or less.
Blacksmith, sister, pain, adventure, hope.

2. Novel title?
Silver Tears

3. Sum up your main character(s) in one word each.
Gavin Gray: Determined. Riah: Forgiven. Torin: Roguish.

4. Advice for newbies in three words?
Don't think. Write.

5. Tell us about your secondary characters, how do they affect the story?
Well, considering one of them falls sick and forces her brother to leave behind everything he holds dear, I'd say that's pretty significant, don't you?

6. Do you plan to stay up till midnight on the 31st?
Hmmm... possibly. I'd like to, but it's a school night and when I stay up, I'm usually not good for much the next day. So we'll have to see.

7. How many years have you done NaNo?
Technically, three, but the first year I didn't win. Well, I did win, but I did the YWP (Young Writer's Program). I aimed for 25k, and ended up with 30k, so it was a good year.

Last year I started out with the YWP program, and ended up hitting 50k in the last week by writing 25k in a few days. It was... um, crazy to say the least. I'd rather not repeat that incident, which is why I'm planning ahead this year. :P

8. What came first, characters, or plot idea?
Let's see. Characters... definitely characters. In fact, I had Gavin Gray long before I ever came up with the plot idea. You may have heard of him before, actually... here and here.

As for Chasiel and Torin, they have been around for years, it seems. I came up with Chasiel by stealing the name from Georgie, who has since discarded it, and she helped me come up with the name Torin as well. They're related, and Torin adores Chasiel like a sister.

My characters helped determine the plot idea, and I'm actually amazed that I have a full, mostly developed plot. Wonder of wonders!

9. How much prep do you do before November?
A moderate amount. This year my goal is to keep my plot structured, but have a little elbow room to be creative. I've outlined my prologue and first chapter so far, and I have 10 days to outline the rest. Wish me luck.

10. Now be honest, how do you really feel about NaNo?
Nervous, excited, terrified, and full of anticipation. In other words, I just summed up the entire NaNo experience.

What about you? Have you joined Beautiful People yet? Are you doing NaNo? If you answered yes to either of these questions, click here to get started.

And I'd love to hear your thoughts. Comments are what make the world go 'round... or is it dark chocolate? O.o

Hello, writers! Welcome to November's edition of Beautiful People, which is geared around NaNoWriMo. Can you believe we'll be breaking out our Word documents, pencils, and coffee in eleven days? Neither can I. Hopefully, this Beautiful People edition will make you even more excited about it than you were before.

(For those who don't know what Beautiful People is, check out this post, and also the FAQ.)

If you're not doing NaNo, then you can still participate! You can either answer the following questions about your current novel. Or, there is another option, if you are ready for a challenge.

NaNoers, listen up too. We'd like to challenge all of you to... well, a challenge. As evidenced by this blog thing, asking questions about your characters helps you get to know them. So, if you need to figure out what goes on inside your character's brain, we have a treasury of questions. This is a complete archive of all the BP questions, from March until now, and we'd like to challenge you to answer them about your main character this month. All of them.

Are you feeling brave? I hope so. ;) Whether you do it on your blog or just for yourself, we hope it'll help you get a better grasp of the way your main character's mind works. This is an optional challenge, but if you're feeling up to it, click HERE to go to the official BP archives.

However, if you're just looking to answer ten questions like you normally do, then be my guest. Here is this month's round, courtesy of Georgie and I. ;)

1. Sum up your novel in five words or less.
2. Novel title?
3. Sum up your main character(s) in one word each.
4. Advice for newbies in three words?
5. Tell us about your secondary characters, how do they affect the story?
6. Do you plan to stay up till midnight on the 31st?
7. How many years have you done NaNo?
8. What came first, characters, or plot idea?
9. How much prep do you do before November?
10. Now be honest, how do you really feel about NaNo?

Don't forget to sign the linky, and have fun! :)




P.S. - thanks to all who voted on the poll, telling me what you think about my design. 12 people (66%) LOVED it, and 6 people (33%) liked the other template better. I appreciated your feedback, and maybe my old design will make a reappearance in the near future. ;)

I have a new poll up, so do check it out. :)

I've been realizing something since my post about being fearless. We don't need to be fearless as much as we need to choose not to fear. There's a difference, believe it or not. We will still have fears, but it matters what we choose to do with them. Choosing not to be fearful is vital.

And it's also very, very hard.

Bravery is a lost art, it seems. It's hard to be courageous. Fear pushes its way in, suffocating us. Paralyzing us. It makes us too afraid to do anything, much less fulfill God's plan for us. We're bound up in ropes of insecurity, anxiety, panic... and fear.

There seems to be no way out. But there is. It's called the Truth.

It's not that obvious, really. The easy way out is to keep struggling, trying to find a way out on our own. But we can't make it out on our own. We need help. We need Jesus. He is the Truth.

You'd be amazed how free I feel when I speak truth to the lies that bind me. I am a redeemed child of God. I am free. I am beautiful. I am loved. I have a hope and a future. I am His.

We have a choice to make. It's a constant, mental decision. Everyday... every waking moment. Will we fear, or will we trust? Will we believe God's words, or Satan's lies? Because that's all they are. Lies.

I can't do this on my own. I need Jesus. I need the Truth.

{I know this post could be considered a bit redundant, but it's something I needed to say, more for my sake than anyone else's. Thanks for reading! :) }


P. S. - check back tomorrow for our NaNoWriMo edition of Beautiful People! :D

It's midnight, and I just got done watching the movie Unstoppable. Basically, it's about a train... that is unstoppable. It was my first real suspense movie.

It's midnight, and I should be sleeping, but I'm too excited to sleep. There's something about the adrenaline rush; the feeling you get when you see ordinary people do heroic things. I want to write something just as amazing, a story about someone who does something heroic.

You get all stressed over the outcome. Will they win? Will they lose? Who will live? Who will die?

And then the end comes. And you are completely, utterly satisfied.

Ordinary people doing heroic things. That's the kind of person I want to be.

If you use a blog reader, you may be confused with all these new/old posts appearing from 2006. No worries; you haven't gone back in time - I've just been moving over old blog posts to my blog.

As some of you may know, I started out blogging at an old site called Homeschoolblogger. (You can find my original blog here.) Since then, I've hopped around to Wordpress, then to Blogger, then to HSB, then back to Blogger again - and I'm here to stay. So I'll be moving over all my old posts, and you can find them under the label HSB.

Just be forewarned: I use exclamation points. A lot!!!!!!!!!

Oi. It must be getting to my brain.

Anyway, I'm thankful for my blogging journey; the ups and downs. I've loved chronicling my life like this, and I've laughed several times reading notes from my 10-year-old self! It's these kind of things that make blogging worth it, and I'm thankful.

What about you? What makes blogging worth it?

NaNoWriMo. It stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is simple: write a novel in 30 days. Doing it, however, is another matter entirely.

Yet in spite of the challenge, I enjoy it, and here are five reasons why.

1. Word wars. Seriously, is there anything greater? The concept is that you'll be forced to battle against a friend (or two... or three) to see who can write the most words in a set amount of time. And let me tell ya - you will be compelled to just write. I don't think there's anything more crazy. Or more fun.
2. Writing. Well, NaNoWriMo is about writing, and guess what? By the time November is over, you will have written a novel. And that's a good thing.
3. Friendship. There's something about writing a novel in 30 days that encourages camaraderie. Or insanity. Or both.
4. Insanity. That seems like a good one to mention. Take it from the girl who wrote 25k in 5 days - it's insane. But it's also possible. And by the time you're done writing, you will feel accomplished. Be amazed at what you've done... and try not to think about how bad your novel actually is.
5. Skills. Yes, NaNo is fun, but it also teaches you something. It teaches you how to finish what you start. It teaches you how to let go and just write. Most of all, it teaches you how fun writing can be... and how vital sleep really is.

Yes, NaNo is hard, and yes, you will write absolute rubbish. But that's the point of it. You can't be a writer unless you write.

So write.

I have some friends that really like Taylor Swift. And then some of my other friends aren't really fond of her music.

As for me, I remain kind of indifferent. I don't listen to country music a whole lot, but there are a couple songs or singers that catch my attention. (Josh Turner would be one example of this.)

I've listened to a little bit of Taylor's stuff and actually really liked it. My favorites are Love Story and You Belong With Me - because who doesn't love two songs about Romeo and Juliet, cheerleaders, and nerds?

But I digress. Whether you like Taylor Swift's music or not, I think she has gotten one thing completely right.

Fearless.

What comes to mind when you read that word? Taylor? That's right, it's one of her albums. I think it's one of the best album titles I've ever heard. Just that one word evokes so many vivid images.

Falling off a cliff into the unknown.
Diving deep into the lakes of Elyon.
Living life in vivid, passionate brushstrokes, engulfing your empty canvas in bright colors.
Throwing off the chains of sin and Satan and legalism... to be free.

Freedom.

Could it be that the words fearless and freedom are synonymous?

And then there is the opposite: Fear. It binds us - in so many ways and on so many levels. It shrouds our world in darkness, blinding us. It blinds and it binds. It leaves us believing there is no way out.

But the truth shall set you free...


Truth. It breaks down the walls and the lies. Fear is nothing but a lie. Satan wants us to get wrapped up in fear because when we fear, we are useless. We are trapped in our own walls of anxiety, unable to break down the door.

And then, there was light...


Jesus.
The way, the truth, and the life. He did not come to give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and a sound mind.
WHY are we so afraid? Afraid of what people think of us. Afraid of what God thinks of us. Afraid of His plan. Afraid that He's not strong enough. (Believe me, I'm preaching to the choir.)

Life is not about rules, fear, regulations, or laws. It's about Jesus.
Sweet Jesus.
He empowers us to be free.
With him, we can do all things...

Plunge off that cliff, wherever He's leading us.
Dive deep.
Paint from the depths of our soul.
Throw off the chains.
Be free.

To be free is my greatest wish.

Because to be free is to be fearless.

So, it's time for Beautiful People, and this time I'm not posting it way late. Last time around, I accidentally posted my BP post a day before the next month's version came out. Oops.

Ahem. Carrying on.

This character is in the plot that will tentatively be my NaNo plot. His name... is Torin.

1. Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise?
Torin has a very roguish, rebellious personality. So, depending on your view of such characters, he could be endearing. On the other hand, certain habits of his will be annoying whether they're meant to be or not. In fact, you're apt to be annoyed with Torin himself.

However, he does have a few habits in particular that can definitely be classified as annoying. The biggest one is cracking his knuckles. The second is the way he manages to defy authority in pretty much everything, and is very willing to debate his point of view. You could see the latter as both a strength and a weakness, I suppose.

2. What is their backstory and how does it affect them now?
This is all very tentative information, but here goes.

Have I mentioned how hard it is to write backstory?

Sigh.

About an hour later, after procrastinating, writing a bit, and then playing Clue, I have written out a full paragraph. The best part is, BP has helped me come up with a backstory... and a plot! Hooray!

So here is the short version of the story... and the most vague.
The King of {Insert The Name Of Their Country Here} had a brother, and Torin is the son of that brother. Shortly after Torin was born, his parents mysteriously disappeared, and were never seen again. The cause behind this is unknown, but Torin believes that the King was responsible for this somehow and had his parents killed on purpose. Because of this, he has always resented his adoptive father. He tries not to show it, however, because he's convinced that he'll inherit the throne.

3. How do they show love?
Love? Ha!

Just kidding.

Believe it or not, there are a select few people that Torin loves. However, he's not very good at showing it... but he tries.

If Torin loves you, he will most likely:
A: Respect you. Mostly.
B: Give you flowers... maybe. If he can find them. And if you appreciate flowers. Preferably if you're a girl. Like his sister-formerly-cousin, Chasiel. Okay, okay. He only gives flowers to her.
C: Smile. Possibly. If he feels like it.

4. How competitive are they?
Let's just say it's not a pretty picture at all when Torin loses.

5. What do they think about when nothing else is going on?
He's always wondered what happens when people die, or if there's an afterlife - this is largely brought on by wondering about his parents and what really happened to them. He thinks about sword-fighting, one of his favorite things. He also ponders what will be for dinner that night, and whether Chasiel will force him to take a bath.

6. Do they have an accent?
Depends. Do you?

I didn't think so.

He either has a British accent or an American one. The verdict is still undecided.

7. What is their station in life?
He is a prince, unfortunately, and he resents it and loves it all at the same time.

8. What do others expect from them?
His father expects him to behave. The world expects him to behave in a princely fashion. And Chasiel expects him to change his attitude and keep his room clean.

9. Where were they born, and when?
He was born in a {City Whose Name Is Yet To Be Determined} in a {Nameless Country} in a certain year that isn't set in stone yet. Isn't that so amazingly clear?

10. How do they feel about people in general?
He likes them. Kinda. If you like him, then at least he'll try to be civil to you.
...Maybe.

P.S. - if you'd like to join Beautiful People and haven't yet, click here for our latest round of questions!

"Don't give up! God is still in the business of blessing His children."
-Sandra Byrd

It's been one of those weeks.

The ironic part is that it's barely even started yet. So, I guess I should just say it's been a harder day. Parts of it were amazing, and parts of it were hard. But I guess that's life, eh?

I really don't want to seem like I'm complaining - I'm just being honest. Life is hard... but it's also good.

In the midst of my morning routine, I checked my email and saw this article sent to me by my grandma. The quote really struck me. God is still in the business of blessing His children.

No, life is not perfect. Yes, life is hard.

But God loves His children. And even better than that, He loves blessing them.

He loves blessing us. In everything we do. Sometimes the blessings are little ones that we don't even see. Sometimes they're big ones. But all the while, He is blessing us.

It makes me excited to see how He blesses me. I don't know when He will, or how he will. But I do know one thing: He will.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:11

So, as hard as it is, I'm trying to be thankful for the good... and yes, even for the bad. As one of my dear friends says, "Glory in the struggles. We wouldn't grow without them." This is something I'm still working on. ;)

Could it be that our lives would be easier if we saw our struggles as a blessing?

It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
-Relient K