Splash down in the silver screen Into a deep dramatic scene I swim through the theater Or maybe I'm just a dreamer Like a kite in the bright midday Wonder stole my breath away Shy sonata for Mercury The stars always sing so pretty
It took us so much effort to get there. Between car mishaps, the long, hot, sticky, harried trip to Denver, and the long walk to Bluebird theater, I was exhausted. On top of that, they nearly confiscated my water bottle at the front door (not good when it's over 90 degrees and you have some health issues). By the time I got inside, I collapsed into a folding chair as the opening act was in progress. The music was so loud. The lights were so bright. Tears welled up in my eyes. I was so tired. I didn't think it would be worth it.

But then the opening chords began. And the lights came up. And Adam came onto the stage. I forgot my pain, I forgot my tears. It was beautiful.

I didn't think dreams could come true until that night. Everything about it defies description. I don't even know what to say.
He sang The Real World, Deer in the Headlights, Plant Life. He sang Cave In and Tip of the Iceberg, which I was not expecting, but loved. He sang Gold—and let me tell you, he sang the "go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld" part amazingly in person. He also sang Meteor Shower which was incredibly beautiful to hear sung live. I teared up. You could really feel the beauty of the moment, and feel the honor and worship Adam was giving to Jesus. There are few times that I have felt as close to God as I did then.

And then he sang Angels. Oh my gosh. There is absolutely nothing like screaming WAKE ME IF YOU'RE OUT THERE at the top of your lungs. That was quite possibly my favorite part. It was amazing and... breathtaking. Literally.

I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest...Adam himself was... amazing. I had worried beforehand that he wouldn't be as good live. Boy, was I blown away. He's just as good in person, and even better. I literally could not believe that he was in the flesh. I couldn't believe I was there. At some parts of the concert I just closed my eyes and listened, pretending that I was listening to the CD at home. It sounded just like it. It was that good.

About halfway through the concert, he sat down at the piano and sang Plant Life. I loved seeing him play the piano, and Tess really loves Plant Life, so that was definitely a highlight. It's also the only song in which I took a lot of pictures, since I had a moment to breathe. The rest of the time? I was screaming my head off and dancing and drinking in the wonder.


The lights were truly stunning, and definitely made the concert a beautiful experience. I will never forget it.


One word to describe the night? Magic.

It was pure magic.

This picnic will soon depart Real life, I'm sad to see you go I'll miss you with all my heart But I'd rather be alone 'Cause I couldn't live without Sunsets that dazzle in the dusk So I'll drag the anchor up And rest assured, 'cause dreams don't turn to dust

She was my mentor, my encourager, my friend. She came alongside me during one of the hardest times of my life (read: the teenage years) and supported me. She was beautiful, an inspiration. I loved her so much, not only for what she did for me, but because of who she was.
And then suddenly, without any warning, she was gone.

She cut off all contact. Not a word. Not only that, but she did so because of reasons that were later proved to be unfounded. There was a sting of betrayal with her departure. And I found myself with a broken heart, in tattered shreds, trying to pick up the pieces.

I don't even know what to say. I could try to generalize about how generally relationships like these hurt... but the truth is, that's not even close to what I feel about it. My heart was kicked to the curb. Raw, bleeding, broken.

It's been a few months since then. I'm still not over it. Yes, there is healing. Eventually. I don't know if I'm there yet.

Reconciliation would be wonderful, but sometimes it's not possible. In this situation, it seems that way. As I mentioned, she's cut off all contact. I've thought of writing her a letter, but I don't know if she'd even read it or respond if I tried.

I recently experienced reconciliation with another fractured relationship of mine, and let me tell you this: it was beautiful. God made a way when there seemed to be none. Suddenly months and months of unresolved issues and pain seemed so much less significant, not so crushing. And all I want is to have the same thing here, with this friend. To hear from her, even if it's just one last time. To know that she doesn't hate me. To have her apologize, to tell me she still cares. So that I can move on. So that I can heal.

What does one do in a situation like this?

I have absolutely no idea.

I'm praying because God is having to heal my heart and hers, reconciliation or not. And I'm hoping, praying, that someday, she'll choose to contact me again.

Could she? Yes.

Will she? I don't know.

It's times like today where my heart aches to have what we once had. Painful reminders crop up of what we once shared, but what is now suddenly just memories on a page. This friendship is no longer living, breathing, alive. It is over.

And that is what hurts the most about it.

Because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

A dull ache fills my heart now as I type this, because no matter how you slice it, it's over, she's gone, and I have to move on with my life. But try as I might, the pain is still there. So is the hope that she'll contact me, that we'll run into each other again. All I want is to hug her, to know that everything is okay, and to maybe rebuild what we once had.

But I don't have that. I can't see her, hug her, talk to her. Not anymore. And it stings.

Being a teenager sucks. (Sorry to whip you around and suddenly change topics like that. But I'm sure you can agree.) It's so hard. My dad validated me in that this evening--saying, "Your mom and I know how hard this is. We want to support you."

That meant the world to me, because I am struggling. So much. But that's what teenagerdom is about. It's what growing's about. I'm pushing through the soil like a bright green plant. Growing, reaching. Restless. I'm growing so dang much through all of this. So much is changing. Life has handed me a ton of lemons.

Time to make some lemonade, I suppose?

So life as a teenager is a shot in the dark. Because we have no idea where we're going or what we're doing half the time. And sometimes you get shot in the dark, wounded out of nowhere, by those who love you most.

It hurts so much. But we're going to get through this. I'm going to get through this. There are better days ahead. (Hopefully in that magical time of life that starts with a 2 and ends with a 0.)

Seriously. I can't wait for it to get better. And I wonder when it will. I can't wait till it does. Come on, God. Bring me to a better place here.

And until then, I'll watch the summer stars to lead me home.

It's no secret that I love Tangled. Frying pans are my preferred weapon of choice, and I'm a lot like Rapunzel. I'm a fan of a lot of things (and some of them I love more than Tangled, sadly) but for some reason, Tangled is just what people think of when they think of me. I've sort of become notorious for it. Which is why it's no surprise that Flynn Rider was one of my birthday gifts from a friend.

Thank you again for the gift, Tess! You rock.

Awkward:


- Accidentally locking your biology book in a filing cabinet the day before you have to start reading it. Oops.

- Trivia sessions with the family.

- Being bugged to post on your blog and realizing how long it's been since you've done so.

- Falling asleep listening to your mp3 player, then waking up to find out you've lost it. (Yes, this happened to me today.)

- Being so involved in writing this blog post and also listening to Celtic music that you didn't hear your parents calling you.

- Wearing the same pair of jean shorts over and over. (It's summer. What can I say?)

- Going to a mall in a richer part of town and acting like gawky tourists.

- Realizing it's been about three or four months since you watched a Robin Hood episode.

- Subsequently realizing that you forgot to finish the Merlin episode you started three weeks ago.

- Dreaming about Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman and coming up with an entire episode in your dream that never happened.

- Deciding to write said episode down and then failing miserably at making your script sound legitimate.

- Feeding your pet fish peas just so he won't get bloated. (The peas make him not get constipated, if you get my drift.)

- Will Scarlett.

Awesome:


- Listening to Owl City's song To the Sky on repeat.

- Doing the same thing as the above with his song If My Heart Was a House.

- Toupee or not toupee? That is the question.

- Realizing that you can, after all, fit your hair into a ponytail.

- Watching Voyage of the Dawn Treader with your little sister.

- Plaid shirts. And Converse.

- Blue skies.

- Hearing from friends that you haven't heard from in a while.

- Being alive.

- Feather earrings.

- Finally getting caught up on your biology that you missed while you were waiting for the filing cabinet to be unlocked.

- Inspiring Celtic music.

- Coming up with ideas for your very first villain: Gesparo.

- Italian names.

- Writing like crazy with Ashley.

- Will Scarlett.

- Jesus.

First off, I have to say, it wasn't my birthday recently. That was back in April. :P The post about my frying pan was just a belated post about the experience I had upon turning another year older. A very belated post. :P

Secondly, this is another post about Owl City. Be forewarned.

Thirdly, Georgie Penn pre-ordered me Owl City's new album, All Things Bright and Beautiful.

It is... brilliant.

I saw the autumn leaves peel up off the street,
take wing on the balmy breeze and sweep you off your feet.

You blushed as they scooped you up on sugar maple wings,
to gaze down on the city below, ablaze with wondrous things.

Downy feathers kiss your face and flutter everywhere.
Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn’t want to live there.

My initial thoughts... well, when The Real World, the first track, started playing, I fell in love instantly. The piano chords and melodic feel made me endeared to the album, even if the rest of the songs stank.

They didn't.

Angels has a beautiful melody line. Deer in the Headlights made me laugh out loud the first time I heard it. Hospital Flowers is weird on first listen, and gorgeous on the second. And when January 28, 1986 played and then gave way to Galaxies, I had chills running up and down my spine.

There are a few songs I don't like as much as the others, Kamikaze being one of them. It's kind of strange, though I appreciate Adam Young's willingness to try new things. And I haven't listened to The Yacht Club or Plant Life a second time, mostly because when I get new music, I listen to a bunch of the songs more than the others. But I plan to give those two a second go later tonight.

Ocean Eyes, Owl City's first album, had more of an ocean-y feel - or at least that's how I interpreted. This album is very reminiscent of galaxies and the stars and space and astronauts and, well... all things bright and beautiful. :P It's inspiring me for Avary's story.

There's actually one more funny story I neglected to mention. On June 14th, I was excited because the CD came out. And because of the implication of "pre-ordered", I thought it would come immediately. (Good things usually never do.) So when I went to the mailbox, I was disappointed to find no package.

Yesterday, I ran to the mailbox, thinking that maybe, just maybe, today would be the day. I was sorely disappointed. But not for long. It turns out that our mail truck returned, bringing my package with it. :D

And yes, my earbuds have been in my ears ever since.

In addition to that, I realized today how many of my Polyvore sets are inspired by Owl City. So, I decided to showcase them all for you, oldest to most recent. Welcome... to Owl City.

I got a Tumblr.

Yes, you can blame Georgie Penn for this. No, actually, maybe you should blame Fin. They both got me started... and I am hooked.

That feeling when your best friend’s best friend convinces her to try out Tumblr, and therefore, you jump on the bandwagon and get that gut feeling that you like it. Yeah… {via}

When I was going to sign up, I couldn't come up with anything. Then this quote entered my mind...

"I’m glad you’re here with me, Sam… here, at the end of all things."
-Frodo Baggins

Thus, my Tumblr blog was titled, The End of All Things.

At first it was named that on a whim. Then, I got to thinking. Isn't it really profound? I love random bursts of profundity. That's where the name for this blog came from, and I love it still to this day, 5 years later. I seriously think God names my blogs for me. ;)

My tumblr blog is called The End of All Things. Yes, I know… it’s morbid. When I was naming my tumblr blog, this quote popped into my head as random as could be…

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Sam… here, at the end of all things.”
-Frodo Baggins

It seems really morbid. Until I got to thinking… the end of all things. Frodo says they’re at the end, but they’re not really. After that, they go on to live happy lives. So it’s not the end.

It’s only the beginning.

And if hobbits find the end of all things, can’t we? {via}

And with that, I leave you with a relevant post, also from my tumblr, regarding a certain Mr. Gavin Gray.

Dear Gavin Gray,

First off, I love how you’re turning out. You’re an awesome character and you totally rock. I can’t believe you even came from my own brain. Which brings up a question… did you really come from my brain? If not, I must ask, because I’ve been wondering…

Where the heck did you come from??

Sincerely,

-Your Author {via}

I have.

Oh, not personally of course. Not physically, but deep inside my mind, I have.

It's a place called imagination.

I am floating away / lost in a silent ballet (On the Wing)

One time, I was babysitting a dear three-year-old whom my family has known since birth. She was wearing an owl shirt, and so I asked her,

"Have you ever been to Owl City?"


She said yes. She said it was the place where all the owls hang out. It was located in her room, and it was dark. Someplace magical.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. (Vanilla Twilight)

I figured out that I could go there, too.


My friends and I have bonded over Owl City. My friend Pip pre-ordered me All Things Bright and Beautiful. I've shared with my blog friends his song that reminds me my hope is in Christ alone. My friend Bri and I are going to write a story about being in a strawberry avalanche (and going in a cold hot air balloon with Matthew Thiessen). Even Ashley and I have a book character based off of Adam Young. And this weekend, I had a conversation with two dear friends that consisted entirely of Owl City song titles. It made my night.

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep. (Fireflies)

Guys, meet Malkah @ Snow After Fire & Sweeet (aka Christina) @ Broken Love - two awesome people from the NarniaWeb forums whom I've had the privilege of getting to know (and you should definitely follow them). A simple conversation in which we plotted our group story turned into, well.. this. I hope you enjoy. (And by the way, an alias of mine is Mountie, short for MountainFireflower. :p)



And I really think he should sell those spacesuits in his online store. (So does Georgie. It was her idea. Adam Young, are you reading this?)



Also, Owl City fans, click here. And even if you aren't, do it. Because it's shocking and cool all at the same time.

Thank you for putting up with this fangurlie-ish™ post. Regular posting shall resume soonish.

This is going to be quick, since we're going to watch an episode of Dr. Quinn soon. :) So, without further ado, the 5 main things I'd hate to live without.

1. Jesus. Enough said. I mean, he's the very air I breathe. And seriously - I'd keel over and die without him. He's my prince charming, the one who sustains my very life. And God, the creator of the universe, loves me with a deep love. The same one who painted the stars loves ME. Wow.
2. Music. Ash and I were talking, and we both decided that we feel music a lot deeper than most people. And it's so true. I'd be lost without music as a way to express the deepest feelings of my heart. This includes being able to play my acoustic guitar too.
3. Friends & Family. My family is the reason I'm still here. They give me advice when I need it, they step in for me when I need it, and they are always there for me. Same with my friends - my unbiological family members. I love them so much. And you guys! You're my followers, and I love you. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting. You guys are amazing.
4. My imagination. This includes writing, daydreaming, and everything I use my imagination for. I could probably learn to survive without my sight or my hearing. But my imagination? No. It's what keeps me sane.
5. The internet. Okay, so, I feel kind of dumb saying this, but the internet has helped me so much. My friends basically live in here, since most of my friendships are long distance. I also use it for school, to expand my knowledge, and just to let my feelings out. I could probably live without it, so that's why it's at the bottom of this list. But still.