ever since i posted my last post, i've been struggling to write. go figure, eh? writing suddenly became challenging for me, and i'm wondering if i'm even ready to write this story yet. so i've been dabbling in other writings, and working on other things, and working on high school biology. the last one in and of itself has been challenging.

as of tomorrow, it's a month until nanowrimo. i'm still trying to figure out what i'm going to write. oh dear. we'll see how this goes.

life has been so busy. there are so many good blogposts i want to write; inspiring blog posts that encourage my creative side. i have all these ideas while i'm trying to fall asleep, and then when i wake up i don't remember them. so this blog post, i hope, will make up for the lack of blog posts. sometimes i just have to let it go, write in lowercase, and ramble.

my laptop also broke again, after just getting it back from the repair shop. apparently the first repair wasn't successful, so back to the computer shop it went. this means i do not have access to my adobe photoshop, and my creative-graphics side is suffering. this is rather frustrating, but at least i haven't been wasting time making avatars when i could be doing other things. it's a win-win situation... i guess. :p

hey, look - it's wall-e!

i've been anxious lately, over trivial things, and trying not to be. unfortunately, it doesn't work to try not to be anxious. i think i'm mostly over it now. ha... emphasis on the word mostly. still, i'm learning that i don't need to be afraid. i don't need to be afraid of making the wrong choices, or of failing. i don't need to be afraid of... well, anything.

however, putting this into practice is easier said than done.

i don't need a telescope to see that there's hope and that makes me feel brave. -owl city

i've been wondering what would happen in the blog-world if we dropped our masks and posted from our heart. i guess this is what i'm trying to do right now. it kind of helps when i can't even think straight. :P chronic pain can do that to a person. someday, i'll write a post about headaches and chronic pain and all that comes with it. but for now, i'm in too much pain. haha, isn't that so ironic?

note to self: headbanging is not a good activity to engage in when you already suffer from headaches. i have a really bad headache now, unfortunately.

that is all.

You've heard about Avary. Probably more than you've ever wanted to. She's the one who started Beautiful People, because you asked me questions about her. And slowly, she started to become a story.

 I've tried multiple times to start this story, but every time it didn't feel right. Until tonight.

 Tonight, inspiration hit in the form of 965 words. Almost 2 years ago, it hit in the form of a dream. And tonight, I started my novel.

I started writing about bottles, and the words came from there. Avary slowly became a reality, and her story is soon to follow.

I'm feeling both trepidation and excitement. I've never began a project this big. This is something I've spent blood, sweat, and tears over.

And now it's become a reality.

I'm not sure where this novel will take me or what will happen. But I'm excited.

I'll spare you a remark about how this is just the "first step in the journey" or something like that. Instead, I'm just going to ask if you could pray for me. I want God to guide this story, and I think He already is.

It's going to be interesting, but worth it. I can't wait to send my message in a bottle.

As Georgie said in her BP post, I feel like I just did Beautiful People.


Oh wait... I did. :P

If you don't know what Beautiful People is, I'd highly suggest looking at this post. You're welcome to join us at any time and use whichever edition of questions you'd like. Also, if you have any ideas for questions we could use in the future, feel free to comment on either Georgie's or my post.

And here are this month's questions! Thanks to MeganEmma for submitting a question to this round. :)


1. Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise? 
2. What is their backstory and how does it affect them now? 
3. How do they show love? 
4. How competitive are they? 
5. What do they think about when nothing else is going on? 
6. Do they have an accent? 
7. What is their station in life? 
8. What do others expect from them? 
9. Where were they born, and when? 
10. How do they feel about people in general?



Don't forget to sign the linky below, and have fun!

I apologize for the delay in this post! I've been under the weather - literally - with a head cold and some achiness, plus good ol' procrastination.

Anyway, today I'd like to introduce the villain of Avary's story. His name is Gesparo, and he's my first "real" villain. Prepare to be amazed.

1. What is their biggest accomplishment? His biggest accomplishment is overcoming the challenges of his childhood, namely being abandoned by his mother, and becoming the person he is today. Oh, and getting out of jail was a plus, too.
2. What is one of their strongest childhood memories? He has lots. Gesparo's childhood was easily the hardest part of his life, and the most memorable. He was abandoned on the streets by his mother when he was seven, and he spent his time drifting from planet to planet, in an empty effort to find his true home.
3. What is their favorite food? Escargot. (And no, I've never eaten it.)
4. Do they believe in love at first sight? Gespardo? Ha! No. He doesn't believe in love at all... at least, that's what he'd like you to believe.
5. What kind of home do they live in? A cave! Dark, dim, and dank. It's his evil LAIR. ... Okay, that's not true. He lives in an average-size house, something that you'd never suspect was hiding the greatest villain of the century.
6. What do they like to wear? Clothes.
7. What would they do if they discovered they were dying? He'd probably give up his current plan and turn to a plan that was faster and more effective. Like, explosives. That way he'd be able to take revenge on the world before he died.
8. What kind of holidays, or traditions do they celebrate? His birthday. Other than that, not much.
9. What do your other characters have to say about them? Well, considering he's the villain, the other characters aren't so fond of him... except for one person. Brian has actually looked past all the grime and evilness on the outside and seen the good part of Gesparo: his inner child.
10. If they could change one thing in their world, what would it be? He would make it easier to control the things that happen to him, like pain and struggles. In fact, he'd eliminate them all together. Either that, or make the world suffer instead of him. Sounds like a happy guy, eh?

Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren't perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was "trying to be good," I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.


Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

--Galatians 2:17-21

I'm sorry. It appears I left my blogger friends in the dust.

This is what has elapsed in the time that I haven't posted. Well, actually this is more recent. As in, the past week. Does that still count?

1. My laptop was repaired. Happiness.
2. I have made about 16+ avatars in the past three days upon getting my laptop fixed; thus being reunited with Photoshop once again.
3. I started biology.
4. I came up with a novel idea. Literally. 
5. Life has been interesting.
6. I got a Photobucket account.
7. I've been writing. Er, trying to write. But really, I've just been procrastinating.
8. I split a pack of Owl City t-shirts between me and two other friends.
9. I bought a Josh Wilson CD, along with a book called Jesus Calling. And a journal. All three of which have been very instrumental in my spiritual walk.
10. I wore my Converse for the first time since before summer started. ♥
11. I've learned that it's okay to be imperfect. I'm still learning.
12. God loves me.
13. Oh, and I got the new Blogger interface. I like it so far, to be honest.
14. I realized I still need to do Beautiful People.
15. Fifteen is a good number to end on, don't you think?